First screens — supervision and co-use
At this age, online safety is almost entirely about what children see and how long they spend looking at it. Most children this age do not have social media, messaging or their own accounts. The work here is about building habits early.
- Device should be shared or supervised. A tablet used in the living room is very different from one used alone in a bedroom. Where possible, keep screens in shared spaces.
- Accounts should be parent-managed. YouTube Kids, streaming apps and games should all be set up by you, not by them. Know the login details.
- Content filters work at this age. YouTube Kids, Google SafeSearch and device-level parental controls are effective because children this age are not actively trying to bypass them.
- Start the language early. Talk about what to do if they see something that upsets them or makes them feel uncomfortable. "Come and show me" is a better first rule than "don't look at that."
Gaming and first social contact
This is the age when Roblox, Minecraft and similar games become central. These platforms have chat functions, and children this age often do not distinguish between "friends from school" and "someone I met in a game." That distinction matters.
- Check game chat settings. Roblox, Minecraft and most gaming platforms have parental controls. For this age group, restrict chat to friends only or disable it entirely in-game.
- Teach the rule about moving platforms. If someone asks your child to "talk somewhere else" — Discord, WhatsApp, a different app — that should always come to you first. This one rule matters more than most settings.
- Screen time boundaries. Children this age rarely self-regulate. Time limits on devices, clear off-times (meals, bedtime) and device-free zones (bedrooms at night) work best when they are consistent from the start.
- Who are they playing with? Occasionally ask. Not as an interrogation — genuinely curious. "Who do you play Roblox with?" opens more doors than "show me your friends list."
The pre-social-media window
Most major platforms have a minimum age of 13. Many children this age are already using them anyway — often because a friend group moved there. The question is not "do I stop this" but "what do I know about it."
- Know which apps are on their device. Do a review together. Not as a search, as a conversation: "walk me through what you use."
- If they have social media accounts, be connected. Follow them, or at minimum know the username. For this age, accounts should still be private.
- WhatsApp and group chats. Group chats move fast and can go in unexpected directions. Knowing which groups they are in and having seen the chat at least once gives you a baseline.
- Conversations about contact from strangers. The question to ask is not "would you talk to a stranger" — most children know the right answer. The better question is: "If someone online said they were 13 but felt off somehow, what would you do?"
- Device in the bedroom at night. This age group is when sleep starts to suffer from screen use. Charging devices outside the bedroom at night is one of the most evidence-backed things you can do.
Social media starts — privacy and identity
At 13, most platforms are technically accessible. For many children this is when Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat and Discord become everyday. The focus shifts from protection to conversation.
- Privacy settings on every platform. Private accounts, restricted DMs, location sharing off. Go through these together when an account is created — not six months later.
- What they post is permanent. Not in a scary way — just honestly. Screenshots exist. Things shared in one group can move. At this age they are testing identity publicly, and a light version of that conversation helps.
- Contact from unknown adults. Be explicit: if an adult they do not know in person is messaging them — regardless of what reason is given — that comes to you. No exceptions.
- Gaming: voice chat with strangers. Many online games include voice chat with random players. This is normal. What is worth discussing is what to do if a voice chat conversation becomes uncomfortable.
Gradual independence with open channels
At this age, parental controls matter less and the relationship matters more. Most teenagers who feel they can bring problems to a parent do. Most who do not, do not.
- Ease off on monitoring, maintain the conversation. Going through their messages is unlikely to help and likely to damage trust. Keeping a genuine interest in what they are doing online — without requiring access — is more effective.
- Explicit content and its context. By 15 or 16, most young people have encountered explicit content online. A non-judgmental conversation about what they have seen, and about consent and context, is more useful than parental controls at this stage.
- Financial safety. Scams, fake investment schemes, "giveaways" requiring payment — these target teenagers specifically. Talk about what to do if something online involves money.
- Mental health and social media. Some young people find heavy social media use genuinely distressing. The question to keep asking is: "How are you actually feeling about it?" — not as a check, but as an open door.
Want a picture of where your child specifically stands right now? The free mafinka check looks at their age, devices, platforms and everyday routines together.
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